Psychedelics
Psychedelics were the catalyst that cracked everything open for me. They helped me see through the walls, the illusions, the facades, the conditioning I had unknowingly built my life around.
For the first time, I could clearly see the societal blueprints, the supporting role, the unconscious script I’d been following without question: who I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to live. And then the walls? They started to crumble.
Like my therapist Raj told me.. “I don’t feel bad for you…you’ve built so many walls around yourself, no wonder you feel like you can’t get close to anyone.” And then he assisted me in 5 gram journey to see God. Let’s just say… those walls didn’t stand a chance after that.
What followed right after wasn’t all clarity. It was a period of beautiful chaos, even delusion at times. But I’ve come to see that delusion as a necessary bridge. It gave me permission to imagine something different. To realize I could do life my way and that I would. I could. I could imagine anything into reality if I truly believed.
Sometimes you need some delulu to find the true you.
Over time, as the effects of the psychedelics faded, I began to ground into the new reality I had glimpsed. I gained confidence in myself, my intuition, my vision, my ability to create a life that actually feels like me.
Like Rick Rubin says, when your antenna is tuned to the grand universal broadcast, you become a clear channel..wide open to let that big, mysterious force up there move through you and guide your life in its purest form. And psychedelics help get you there. But overtime you don’t need them to stay connected.
The channel is always there you just have to remember how to listen.
I don’t use psychedelics anymore, not because they weren’t valuable, but because now I have other tools. Mindfulness practices. Supportive friendships. Somatic practices. Self-trust. I’ve learned how to break down walls without altering my brain chemistry.
This isn’t some dramatic goodbye love letter to psychedelics either, trust me, I fully intend to enter that mush-love state and have a dance with God again. And believe me, I will.
Most unexpectedly, psychedelics helped me realize a deeper, more compassionate relationship with myself. They guided me through the darkness of my subconscious and helped me face them head-on. But let’s be real, I’m a Scorpio. Darkness is my nature, the underworld is my classroom, and that’s where I do my deepest learning.
To be continued.
